


Standard Operating Procedure

by Hikary



Series: Backwards Dreams [1]
Category: Tenet (2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, First Kiss, First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Happiness with a Angsty Ending, Harry Potter Jokes, Idiots in Love, M/M, Minor Arthur/Eames (Inception), Mutual Pining, Slice of Life, Suprisingly Light-Hearted for this fandom, Twilight References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26295763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikary/pseuds/Hikary
Summary: Neil would have never thought falling in love could be acircularmotion. And yet, here they are, planning a future that will take place about a decade ago and thinking about how their first meeting will happen.[...]This has to be how things go – how thingswent– otherwise neither of them will be standing here today.The lovers’ paradox.{All the fics in the #BackwardsDreams series can be read separately!}
Relationships: Neil/The Protagonist (Tenet)
Series: Backwards Dreams [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910629
Comments: 18
Kudos: 139





	Standard Operating Procedure

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? I am trash.  
> I watched _Tenet_ for the second time and I am pleased to report I was almost as lost as the first – but in my defense, everyone is saying it’s hard to hear the dialogues (which made me feel better considering English is my second langue lol), also Science scares me, also Rob is too pretty and I can’t focus. So please excuse if something doesn’t add up. 
> 
> I can't stick with a name for The Protagonist yet, so I Did The Thing and I let me just say really fucking hate writing without knowing one of the characters' name :D
> 
>  _Inception_ references everywhere - you don’t need to understand them to follow, I just knew, the moment the movie ended, that Neil was Eames and Arthur’s son. Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, I worked really hard on that one.
> 
> I am the proudest Hufflepuff, so I am also trash for HP jokes, apologies. No way I am apologising for the Twilight jokes, though, NOLAN DID IT FIRST.
> 
> A lovely person (Shuhart) made a translation in Russian, which is really fitting for the fandom lol https://ficbook.net/readfic/9957905 ♥

The man in a fancy suit approaches him on campus. He picks a shitty moment to make Neil an offer he is obviously not going to refuse. _Are you interested in time travelling?_ Part of Neil, the part that is completely exhausted after forty-eight hours of academic readings and failed experiments, is tempted to burst into laughter and say something stupid, something on the line of _thank you, Doctor, maybe next time_. Two things stand in the way: first, the guy looks so painfully American he might not even get the Dr Who reference; second, the scene is almost surreal, it feels exactly how Aunt Ariadne tells the story of the day she met Dom. 

So, Neil simply blinks at the man, probably looking surprisingly dumb for someone who is being approached because of their academic achievements.

The man is not put off by his reaction, then again, he is just as weird as Neil. He doesn’t even introduce himself (fine, neither does Neil, but only because the man already knows his name) and, when they’re sitting down in the furthest table of Neil’s favourite off-campus café, he orders a _Diet Coke._

The job, however, is mindblowing – to put it mildly. Neil cannot even begin to comprehend why he is being trusted with so much information before he has even accepted the offer. Is it that obvious that he would die to be a part of it? Well, maybe not die, but close enough. 

« Last question. This is, of course, an extremely risky field and it will require every waking moment you have. Will you be able to adjust your life, in terms of family or other...personal commitments? »

« My parents always said they would approve of _any career_ but dream extractor. They should have been more specific, I guess. »

« I guess there are some things you cannot even dream of. »

« Perhaps. But I wouldn’t underestimate my dads on that specific matter. »

And just like that, Neil becomes part of Tenet.

* * *

Neil has a terrible, infamous history of inappropriate crushes, fleeting infatuations, and overdramatic romances that play out mostly in his own head. (In other words, he’s truly his father’s son.)

This, however, _this is bad_. What makes it bad is not the fact that his new sort-of-kinda-boss is ridiculously handsome, ridiculously smart and ridiculously skilled, something that would generally contribute to making a person attractive. No, what is really fucking tragic, this time, is that they’ve become friends. They’re awesome friends, teammates, partners in crime (or law, whenever they can manage to fit tampering with time and space into the current legal system) and there are specific moments when Neil can make the other man laugh that make him feel like the most powerful and lucky being in the universe. 

Neil needs to articulate these feelings. No matter how many times he has been _this_ close to jump his best friend’s bones in a rush of post-mission adrenaline. (‘Because nothing screams “blowjob” like jumping off a building’ - Ives said that one as a joke, thinking Neil would be embarrassed. Ives doesn’t need to know the actual effect that image has on Neil’s brain every other night. Ives is a good guy.)

There is one night in particular, as they’re getting drunk to celebrate yet another near-to-death adventure in time travelling, when Neil realises he cannot do this. He will never be able to keep all those feelings to himself and, if it’s true there must be at least one version of reality where those feelings are reciprocated, _why not this one?_

So he starts rambling. 

The sounds he is making aren’t half bad, from the little his fuzzy brain can pick up on. There is a vague resemblance to his dad’s traditional tipsy Christmas speech, which, considering his parents’ unforeseeable yet wonderful marriage, makes him hopeful. 

The other’s man gaze is completely focused on Neil’s face, eyes soft and a smile that betrays how much of those feelings he understands.

« And here’s the thing. » Neil wraps up his monologue « It’s like, somehow, we’re _more_. You’re- » he’s slurring, but damn if he will get to the end of it « - _you’re my best friend_. »

There you have it. Neil already feels a thousand times better. 

« Damn, man. I think you need some sleep. »

And here’s a reaction Neil, with all his fancy masters in Physics and General Scientific Nerdyness, has not predicted: a pat on the shoulder and the sound of a door closing. He is alone in the hotel room now, more confused than ever, but also too exhausted to fight the sleep.

Neil wakes up in the middle of the night, absolutely horrified. Somehow, he has forgotten to mention he is also _in love_ with his best friend.

* * *

Every now and then, there are exceptions to the rules of nature. Something that is not meant to work finds its own unique source of energy and defies those principles that are supposed to hold the universe together. _A bumblebee flying_. 

And sometimes, Neil wonders if flying wouldn’t be easier than dealing with the emotional mess he has put himself into. He builds and rebuilds imaginary plans in his head, each one more complicated than the one before, and watch them crumble down as the day ends, and he is forced to take advantage of a rare night of sleep that goes beyond the occasional power nap in-between missions.

His ‘best friend’ always watches him with intent. Work-related or not, Neil has no way to find out, until he has crafted the most perfect plan for his second attempt at confessing his feelings. (If his dad finds out, Neil will never outlive the inevitable mockery. He wouldn’t blame his father for laughing his ass off, but he couldn’t survive it either.)

« By the looks of it, I say either _we travel back in time and kill this guy_ , or it’s going to suck big time. » 

Neil’s shuts the laptop close, his eyes burning from staring at the screen for too long. His back aches, _everything_ aches at this point. For once in their life, they should call it a day and sleep while they still have a few hours before sunrise. He turns his head to face the other man, half-wondering why he has not heard any jokes about his ‘time travelling’ plan and here it is: _that look_. 

« Tell me more about it. » it’s all he says, his voice calm in a way that’s equal part expectant and terrified.

« You want me to tell you about _time travelling?_ » 

Neil scratches the back of his head, furrowing his brows, _this_ close to asking whether the other had one Diet Coke too many. 

Epiphanies should be accompanied by a sound. One should have the words to describe the process of seeing your whole life sliding into place, fragment by fragment, until you are finally able to see the big picture. Until it is such a perfect, ever-recurring circle that you can understand why meeting someone for the first time could feel like a _reunion_.

« _Oh_. » 

Words escape him. Reality is starting to blur, and all he can focus on, all he can make is _that look_. And yet, before he can go back to his useless planning, Neil grabs a handful of the other man’s shirt and kiss him. When they part, he is not sure which one of them is the most surprised.

« You- you said we were friends. » the older man mumbles.

« I know, but in my defence I was a bit drunk and I meant- » 

« No, no. _Before that_. » 

« What..? » 

Strong hands clasp either side of his face, and Neil is pulled closer, their foreheads bumping gently. They could kiss again, but they don’t; they breathe each other’s air, just for a moment, their eyes closed, and Neil feels a thumb caressing his lips.

« You said ‘ _friendship’_. » 

« Am I supposed to apologise? » 

He gets another, deeper kiss in lieu of an answer. Neil’s opens up to it, tasting an inexplicable sense of familiarity that should be unsettling, and yet, it is all but that. His head is light, but the contact is grounding, like this is the only tangible thing in his life and Neil has never noticed how fleeting the rest is, because he did not have any basis for comparison.

« You lied to me. » the other says into his mouth, tone soft and eyes impossibly fond as he strokes Neil’s cheek « I can’t tell if you are a genius or you were just messing with me. » 

« And guess where I learned that from? » Neil pulls his best crooked smile « _Standard operating procedure_. »

* * *

« It’s a shame ‘James Bond’ is taken. »

« Neil, can you be serious for a second? »

« Excuse me, we are trying to come up with your _fake super-secret time-travelling spy name_ and I am supposed to be serious? »

« Fine. Then, could you please laugh at me while being productive? »

« Much better. »

There is a point to it, Neil is aware. They are putting together a new mission, the kind that will change everything if they get it right. 

« Keep it simple. You’re the boss. Be _The Boss_. »

« ‘bit over the top? »

« The whole concept of a code name is over the top. »

« Someone used to say I’m the protagonist of this whole mess. »

« And that’s not over the top? »

« There’s a nice meta-narrative ring to it. »

« Oh, big words. I like it. Shall _I_ call you that? »

« Don’t be ridiculous. If either you or Ives or anyone else- »

« Now I’m _anyone else?_ Very well, boss. » 

« You’re so overdramatic. » the older man laughs.

« Only because you find it entertaining. »

Neil throws an arm around his shoulders and gives him a quick peck on the lips.

« If you’re the protagonist, what does it make me? The sexy sidekick?»

« You know, in retrospective, you could benefit from some practice in respecting your superiors. »

« Yes _, Sir._ » Neil purrs.

« That was the least respectful ‘sir’ ever pronounced _._ »

« Damn, you’re absolutely right _._ You should make me practice.»

* * *

« _You have been lying to me. Again._ »

« Pardon? »

Neil looks up from his book, half a smile already in place. Even if his morning brain is not completely awake just yet (and this is why one of them was supposed to be making coffee, wasn’t he?) and he is struggling to focus on the simplest words, picking up on the other man’s sarcasm is a matter of instinct at this point. Understanding each other is second nature – _first,_ Ives would tease him. 

« I have no idea what you’re talking about, but if I did, I am certain it was a matter of _standard operating procedure._ Which, as I remember, is your favourite thing in the world, possibly only topped by fucking me on your very expensive sofa and _yes_ , I chose my words wisely. »

Neil has earned himself a laugh and it is barely eight in the morning. Not that he is keeping a record. (He can add it to his private list later.)

« What I mean is that you have always presented yourself as a Ravenclaw, but it has recently been brought to my attention that you’re a shameless _Hufflepuff_. »

« Wait. » Neil quirks an eyebrow « You _hate_ Harry Potter. You always said you wouldn’t even read the back cover. »

« I couldn’t sleep last night » he sits on the bed, next to Neil, offering the long-awaited cup of coffee « and since _you_ love it, I thought it was worth a shot. But don’t ask me to go past the first one. »

« Oh, but the good stuff starts on the third! » Neil whines, but he’s all smiles and light kisses already, fighting a losing war against the butterflies in his stomach.

« There are many things I’d for you, but I don’t love you that much. »

« You can read the series _backwards_ , perhaps it would make it more exciting? »

« We are going to pretend you never said that. »

* * *

Neil would have never thought falling in love could be a _circular_ motion. And yet, here they are, planning a future that will take place about a decade ago and thinking about how their first meeting will happen.

« _You know what this means_. »

The way he says it, slow and meaningful, contemplating the implications of the mission, sounds like he would give it all up in a second if Neil just said the word. And that’s, perhaps, the true beauty of it: Neil would never ask him to stop. Neil is the person who would be worth it, precisely because he is the kind of person who would walk willingly into his own death to save everyone else.

« _If someone had to pick a time and place for me to die, I’d rather that’d be you_. »

After all, he is saving the world with the man he loves. He can think of so many worse ways to go.

* * *

« Vampires. »

« Are you aware, Mr I-Have-More-Masters-Than-Friends, that vampires do not exist? »

« I mean vampires as a _theme_. Books about vampires. Movies about vampires. Movies about books about vampires. »

Neil makes a horrified expression that makes the other man laugh. They’re playing _their_ game, the one Neil came up with for the moments when everything is going wrong and they’re losing hope their plan will work. 

_If the world would disappear, what would you_ not _miss?_

« Alright, alright. Answer accepted. People who talk at the cinema. »

« People who talk _at the theatre_. »

« Good one. »

« Hey, I made up this game. Of course I am the best at it. »

« Coke in a plastic bottle. »

« When did you get this posh? » 

« You’re wearing the wrong suit to judge other people’s _poshness_. »

Neil grins and takes a few steps towards the other man.

« Oh, you like my suit? »

« I like _you_ in it. »

« Do I even need to say the next line or we know where this is going? »

Later, as they are laying half-asleep in bed, Neil feels gentle lips pressing a kiss on the back of his neck.

« You know, Neil. You might as well be the last person left who can make me laugh, despite all the shit that is going on around us. »

« What did you do before me? » he jokes.

There a strange pause.

Neil wonders if it has something to do with those things they do not speak about – not yet. It had not taken long for the younger man to put two and two together: they are working with time paradoxes, after all, Neil knows, deep down, that everything the other man is still reluctant to share was most likely related to that. Basic sci-fi rules – do not talk to your past self, don’t spoil things that are yet to come. It never bothered Neil. Somehow, his mind has adapted to this new concept of time, straight lines turning into circles, resignation turning into hopefulness. Things that happened, happened, Neil always says. And if, at first, everyone assumed that meant defeat, well, they have been proven wrong. _Things happened because someone made them happen_ , once upon a time _._ And what you are doing right now, will be something that happened. Something that _matters._

« The truth is, I struggle to remember a ‘before you’. » 

This is the best Neil will get, for tonight.

It’s not _enough_ , because _enough_ sounds like a compromise, something that could have been better. And this is so much more than that.

* * *

Ives leaves them to say their goodbyes in private. 

They have both been restless over the past few days, going over the plan just one more time, always one more time, until Neil could spell the layout of the entire mission backwards. It is a hard concept to wrap your mind around to, saying goodbye to someone you’re about to meet. Part of Neil has secretly longed for the moment they’ll see each other on the other side, the scientist in him dying to challenge even the last few laws of nature still unspoilt by human progress; a part equally ruthlessly analytic, eager to collect more data, and just plain romantic beyond reason, refusing to accept the idea they will not recognise each other the moment they are reunited, whatever the timeline.

And yet, this has to be how things go – how things _went_ – otherwise neither of them will be standing here today. 

_The lovers’ paradox._

Some things, however, are supposed to be a constant even in the chaos of this universe: Neil is supposed to be the cheerful one, the one that can smile through anything for both of them. And that is precisely what he does, all dimples and affectionate touches, getting a kiss on the forehead for his trouble. If he melts a little, no one outside this room needs to know. 

« I trust you, Neil. Completely. And I know I _will_ trust you, when we meet. »

« Can’t wait to see you young and pretty. »

« _Hey_ , now. »

The other man drags Neil closer, an arm tightening around his waist, and Neil laughs into the kiss as he practically falls into the embrace.

« I bet you’ll give me hell. You’ll get all worked up because you _hate_ not knowing things. Which, to be fair, is not much different from now. »

« You know I can’t say- »

« I know, I know. Indulge my speculations. This is the last time we’ll be able to talk _like this_. Well, from our current perspective, at least. »

« There will be a time when you can mention things, you know. It won’t be all bad. »

Neil grins.

« Can I flirt with you? »

« Can you _not_ flirt with me? Because we both know the answer is _no_. »

« We also know it doesn’t make much of a difference when the person you’re flirting with is so awfully oblivious. »

« Says my _best friend_. »

« Will you _ever_ let that one go? »

« We live in a time loop, Neil. I’m afraid that’s not an option. »

« You know what? That’s exactly what I’m going to tell you. That we are best friends. And then watch you going crazy over it. »

« Sounds like the beginning of a bad rom-com. »

There are more kisses, and Neil’s smile falters only once, when he hears thr words _I love you_ murmured against his ear. But they will be alright. They don’t need to _get through this_ , because they already have. They always will. 

**Author's Note:**

> I got near the end of the movie thinking ‘okay, this movie is nice, but it won’t really have an impact on my life, yay, so proud of myself for watching a movie like a Normal Person’ AND THEN Neil had to do/say The Thing and my poor brain was turned into scrambled egg. (On a side not, I love the theory of Neil being Max, but, as I said, his dads were already decided in my heart.)
> 
> Fun fact: I made my bff go through her eBook version of _Twilight_ because we're both Italian and we could not remember the right word to describe Edward Cullen's smile in English. Because that's how low I am willing to stoop for trashy references :D I love my bff <3


End file.
